she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
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