Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
Randomize
