Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
He did a backflip because drugs
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
Randomize
