You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Randomize
