You just made me feel so damn special
You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
only you would photoshop your dick
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
