My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
