Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
Randomize
