yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
Randomize