In the future we'll all be gay
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
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