Whod you bang
i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
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