you would pick up someone in the library
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
You may now shotgun with the bride
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
Randomize
