wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
New definition for "rock bottom": Waking up in a puddle of your own puke, missing your fake tooth. Then having to dig through said puddle of puke for aforementioned fake tooth. Think it's time I quit partying so hard.
Is this your way of breaking up with me as my wingman?
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
Randomize
