Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
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