let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
I just referred to our excessive fireball consumption as a team building exercise and everyone in group text agreed.
We're not alcoholics, we're a god damn team.
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
Randomize