New invention idea: vibrating tampons
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
Randomize
