Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
He uses pillows to masturbate.
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
Randomize
