what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
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