I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
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