There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
Randomize
