the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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