road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
Randomize