doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
did i just pee glitter
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
Randomize
