i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
Randomize
