Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
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