I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Randomize
