I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
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