I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
There's a naked man in my car right now.
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
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