i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
Randomize
