They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
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