you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
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