just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
Randomize
