if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
Randomize
