Non-Jews are for practice
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
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