I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
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