I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
Randomize
