so explain again why im purple
no
How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
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