yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
