is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
In America we eat man semen.
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
Randomize
