omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
Randomize
