Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
my poor anus
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
Randomize