dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
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