you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
Randomize
