i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
I currently don't understand fingers.
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
Randomize