Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
Randomize
