Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
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