problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
Randomize
