so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
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