The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
Randomize
