i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
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