cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
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