that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
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