don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
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