Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Randomize
