I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
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