Swine flu. Run for my life!
I puked a lego.
Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
Princesses don't give blow jobs
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
Randomize
