i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
cat food counts as protein by the way
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
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