i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
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