So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
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