Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
Randomize
