so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Randomize