He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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