sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
Randomize
