Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
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