she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
Randomize
