I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Randomize
