Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
