I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
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