i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
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