Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
Randomize
