Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
Randomize
