There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
Randomize
