This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
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