when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
Randomize
