He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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