I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
Randomize
