I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
Randomize