SEEEEXXX PLEASE
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
